“Live Long and Prosper” – From a Bipolar Point of View

**Trigger warning: Mention of suicide and depressed negative thoughts.

Those words will forever be associated with two men – Mr. Spock, a human/vulcan fictional character, and Leonard Nimoy, the man who portrayed him.  His passing was felt around the world by many generations.  And almost every tribute I have seen (and there are many) say the same thing – that Nimoy did just that.  He lived long (83) and certainly prospered.

I think that these four words are very good advice. I can attest that they can be very daunting to someone suffering from mental illness.  “Live long? I can barely make it through each day”. “Prosper? How am I supposed to prosper when I can’t do anything with this stupid illness?  I can’t work, I have few friends….”

There are days when I still feel this way.  I have made many attempts to get a real job, but either mood swings, chronic pain or a multitude of other things get in the way.  But I want to contribute both to society and to my little family.

I have pretty well got past the “live long” part.  I rarely have suicidal thoughts anymore and if I do it is more like “Please God, take me away from this physical/emotional pain.  Take me home”.  I usually end up having a great sleep and wake up ready to take on the world.  I have a truly amazing spouse and I want to grow old with him!  I want to live long no matter what life brings!

As for the prosper part, I never thought I could do so without holding down a good job, helping to provide for my family and keeping things going at home.  Between bipolar, plain depression, OCD, anxiety and chronic pain, it is very hard to feel prosperous when you can’t get anything done that you feel you should.

I finally realized that I am very prosperous.  I have a loving husband, two fur-kids, loving family and friends who at the very least try to understand what I am going through and at their best go above and beyond to help me out.  I also have the ability to write, which I lost for many years, a certain amount of talent in creative arts and a knack for loving and caring for all of God’s children regardless of the age or situation.  I also have my faith which even though it hasn’t seemed like it at times, is what ultimately gets me through everything!

Yes, I still have mental illness and chronic pain.  None of that has changed.  But what has changed is my outlook.  Rather than only seeing the negatives of life, I have found some positives and try to concentrate on them.