No, I am not looking for work, though I long to have my career back.
Recently my counselor reaffirmed something she has said many times before – “Looking after your health IS a full time job and your main focus”. And she is right. If I don’t look after myself, I am not good for anything else. This is part of the reason I haven’t written in so long.
When you have one health problem, whether it be physical, mental or otherwise, it can be difficult enough to make it through life and all its responsibilities. When you have more than one thing going on, like many of us here, it can be very overwhelming.
A couple of weeks ago I was having some very scary symptoms – confusion, numbness, slurring my words, and more that I don’t even remember. Kay and hubby were very worried about me but I wouldn’t go to the hospital. Then hubby and I began to think it was my blood sugar. My Naturopath, Dr. B, had mentioned diabetes before. And with all the apple juice and lack of meat protein I was getting because of my liver flush, it made sense. So we got a tester and sure enough, my levels were all over the map. Constant testing and watching my food intake have gotten it under control. Now I don’t test very often, just watch for the signs and deal with it from there. Dr. B has given me information on diabetes and an herbal supplement; however my Dad had type II and I learned a lot about cooking for it so that helps.
It can be a little tricky trying to balance what my liver and blood sugar need, but I am getting there. I am also trying to get more exercise without flaring my fibromyalgia and other chronic pain. And then of course I have to keep my moods in check as well.
So, if health is a full time job, I guess I have been doing some overtime!
I take everything as part of God’s plan and I know that He will never give me more than I can handle. While I must say I was a little frustrated with one more thing to juggle, I soon realized that I shouldn’t be so surprised to have diabetes – my age is within the norm to get it, my intake of sugar over my life has been high, my Dad, Grandmother and Grandfather all had it as well, and hey, why not? Everything that God has allowed to happen to me has ended up helping others in some way and for me that is a plus.
It also made me sit back and decide what is most important in my life – if I don’t watch my health I can’t be a good wife, I am not there for Kay and her kids, who I would be lost without, and I won’t be able to enjoy life.
That last one is kind of a summary for everything else. Enjoying my life is something I just started to do. I am learning how to put things into perspective rather than dwelling on them and missing out.
So, if keeping myself healthy is my full time job, I accept it with joy. If it means not writing for awhile or giving up sweets, then that is what I will do. After all, life is short and we might as well enjoy what we have!