Friend/Sister/Daughter/Mother/Kindred Spirit

I have talked a lot about Kay.

Kay came into our lives about 10 years ago through our church youth group. Hubby and I were helping out with the youth and Kay became a youth leader. A short time later she needed a place to stay and we had an extra room so we invited her to stay with us.

This happened several times over the next few years until she decided to move up North to work as a hotel clerk. We communicated via email and over the course of her stay she met someone. After awhile they moved back down to our area and they stayed with us for a short bit. First he got sick and was in and out of hospitals. Then she started getting pains in her right abdomen. I took her to the ER many times and she just got the run-around. Finally, at a different hospital they called in a surgeon who said that while the appendix looked good in the tests, she could have chronic appendicitis where it flares and gets better very quickly. Sure enough, he operated the next day, taking out the appendix and she was fine.

While he was in hospital he proposed to her and they decided to get married a couple of days later when he was released. Hubby took them for their license, I threw together a cute little wedding cake, they arranged the pastor and for family members and we all met at a nearby park. It was a lovely little ceremony and hubby and I felt privileged to be part of it.

However, there was a lot of tension happening and we finally had to tell them to leave. Actually it was just Kay as her husband was working somewhere. It was not a good way to end things – a little tough love, though she didn’t see it that way at the time. I was crushed because I loved her but she had gotten herself into a situation I knew all to well. Her new husband was very much like my first – a total other story.

I knew through Facebook that she had two children. I actually ran into her in the hospital while visiting my Dad. She was expecting her second child and her grandfather was very ill. We only spoke for a few minutes. She called me a few times for cake advice but would have to go if her husband came home.

Then one day about 2 years ago she called telling me that something had happened and he was no longer living there. She needed someone to talk to who would understand. I understood all too well. While my current awesome husband and I had a few rough patches, I knew 3 days after my first marriage that I had made a very horrible mistake but it was for better or for worse so I stuck it out as long as I could. By the sounds of it so did Kay.

Over these two years we have helped her out with her kids, rides, and friendship. Kay’s and my relationship has grown even closer than it had ever been. When I had my “stroke-like-symptoms” she came and stayed over as Hubby works afternoons, so I wouldn’t be alone. Then she hurt her back and neck so we had her stay over. We finally have the guest room set up so it is working out well. While her kids are away she is using the time to clean and sort all their clothes at our place so she can sift out all the ones that don’t fit.

We have so many things in our lives that are similar it is scary sometimes. We call ourselves kindred spirits! Our faith in God is equally strong and so when one gets down about something the other is there to pick them up and remind them of God’s grace. We have our moments; however we can be very honest and frank with each other and that goes a long way.

Tuesday night when I couldn’t take my side pain any longer and Hubby was off sick with the flu, Kay offered to come to stay with me. I think she also wanted to make sure I actually went LOL! When we got to the triage desk the nurse asked a question and Kay answered for me. The nurse asked if she was my daughter. Kay says ya, sort of (which shocked me a little as she has always says I am NOT like a mom to her, she thinks of me as a big sister which is fine with me!). Then she says she is a “sister um sister/daughter” and I say friend. The nurse could have thought we were crazy but she smiled knowingly.

When we were waiting for the doctor and I was saying I didn’t want to be there she told me to settle down and I said “Yes, Mom”, adding yet another dimension to our weird and wonderful relationship. Only God could have put us together and only He knows where it will go from here.

All I know is that I love this young woman (who is, by the way young enough to be my daughter) and want her and her kids in my life forever. How many people can say they have a friend, sister, daughter, mother and kindred spirit all rolled into one package…both of us can!



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