Finding Light In All The Darkness

Saturday I went with Kay to a brunch at her church with a speaker talking about finding light through all of the darkness. Kay got our tickets and stayed over last night so we could go together (even though she lives right behind the church and we are 20 minutes away!).

It was a good thing that she did do all that to be honest. With my not feeling well lately and my general uneasiness with going to functions, I would probably have talked my way out of going. It is not easy sitting around and acting like I am enjoying myself and not hurting from head to toe from the uncomfortable folding chair I have been on for two hours.

In fact, even when she was over Friday night and we were watching TV, I was trying to think of how I could get out of going. Why? Was it because it was a church event? Was it just the fact of being in a room of people I don’t know?

It wasn’t being a church event because I miss the fact I haven’t made it to church much in the last few years thanks to my health. And I hardly think it was the stranger factor as I sometimes feel more at ease because there are no expectations. Besides, I had to turn down a couple of evenings with good friends because I wasn’t up to it. And I really felt it was important to go for Kay’s sake. I didn’t want to let her down. So, we headed out this morning right on time and I was looking forward to it all, even though I wasn’t really sure what was in store.

The food was decent. I couldn’t eat the eggs, which I gave to Kay; however, the sausages, potatoes, yogurt and English muffin were satisfying and filling. Kay looked after me well by getting me water that was not too cold and diluting some apple juice so it wasn’t too sweet.

There was a young woman at our table who we got talking to before things started. It turns out she was basically a shut-in confined to bed 90% of the time due to chronic pain from an illness for almost 10 years. This is even more severe than mine has been over 20 years! The incredible part is she is now healed….yes, that is correct, healed. She has no longer had the illness or pain for just over a year now and has gotten her life back. Clearly a modern miracle and the work of the Lord we both believe in. I was very encouraged by this story and thought this must be the reason I was supposed to be here.

Next there was the table host, a lady from the church we were at. In fact, she is the wife of one of the pastors. We got into a conversation about how we both admire Kay, both her strength and passion. We also talked about a lot of other things we could relate to as we are the same age. So, maybe this was my purpose for attending.

It was time for the speaker. She was also a pastor’s wife from another church. She recounted a story about how she took a large risk by leaving her husband and church for a short time to find herself and talk to God after she became an empty nester. It wasn’t so much about the actual events but the fact that she was able to see light through all the darkness because of her faith. I could wrap my head around everything she said except on point “show gratitude for the experience”.

I must admit for all my faith and perseverance during my struggles there are many times where it has been very difficult to feel thankful for a life of chronic pain and mental illness. However, I was drawn to her words and even though money is tight, I found myself trying to justify buying her book.

One thing happening throughout the morning was of course the the door-prize draws. Every event like this has them. I learned long ago not to pay much attention to them because I would always be disappointed when I didn’t win anything. I even verbalized this and so Kay, bless her heart (and unknown to me), was quietly praying that I be proved wrong.

They got down to the last item to be drawn for while I was getting my stuff together and checking my bank account for purchasing the book. I was barely paying attention until I heard the last two numbers “50” being called. Almost robotically I held up my hand and a woman walked over to hand me an autographed copy of the book as my prize. I looked at Kay with her “I’m and angel” expression and I finally got it out of her that she was praying for this exact result. So, now, we will both get a chance to read the book!

Which of these things was the reason I was meant to go to this event? Well, knowing God as I like to think I do, I would have to say all of them!

Oh and by the way, have I mentioned I love Kay! She is the younger sister I always wanted!

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