“God Only Knows…”

Whether you believe in God, fate, karma or anything else, I am sure you can relate to this post.

I have gotten myself into a bit of a financial jam lately – we are not destitute by any means but my own personal budget has been pushed to the max. This can happen when I am stressed or manic or even depressed. I am not sure what I am at this point. It could be a mixture of all three.

I came up with a little plan to raise some funds before Christmas and it involves a set of star cookie cutters that form a tree when you make them out of gingerbread (or sugar cookie dough) and stack them with royal icing! A simple enough concept and one that would bring in a little money with not a lot of outlay in the way of supplies, time, or effort on my part. These are things I could do in my sleep!

The one thing that has been delaying the process is that I have not found my set of cutters. We packed up my craft room in the summer and sent a lot of it to storage when we were preparing to move. Since that has been put on hold, we brought several boxes back and sent the rest to be stored at my brother-in-law’s. I have gone through everything in the house and have not found them yet. Time is of the essence since I am also doing a cake for a friend’s birthday party coming up.

My worse leg (the one that has had a knee replacement so far) started to give me problems in the last few weeks as the weather changed. That is to be expected. However, yesterday, for no apparent reason, it swelled up and started to give out when I put weight on it. The pain escalated to way beyond my chronic levels. In fact, it is acting exactly like it did for the year before my surgery. So, I am reduced to walking around the house with my cane (something I only usually have to do when I am out) and laying down is worse than standing or sitting with it down, though no position is comfortable.

I could be, and maybe even should be, angry, sad, or any one of a number of emotions. However, I am not in the least. This is just a sign that I am not supposed to make these trees this year. That the Lord has another method in mind for getting me through the holidays financially. That I need to take care of myself first and foremost.

So, there will be a doctor’s appointment in my near future when I can get in and things like emptying boxes and decorating the house will have to wait. I still can do the cake because the recipe is easy and the decorating can be done sitting down. Christmas cards – something I have not been getting to the last few years – can be done up and mailed. I can crochet to my heart’s content and catch up on all the Christmas movies Kay has recorded for us to watch.

And I am sure that once I start clearing up the mess that has occurred thanks to packing and unpacking I will probably find my tree cutters…say in the summer time!

So, to paraphrase the Beach Boys, “God only knows what I’d be without Him!”

Lydia!