It has been tough trying to come up with my next post. I have had a few starts but they fizzled out. It’s the usual reasons – pain, my never-ending winter cold, lack of sleep and energy, etc.
I think there is another reason as well. Yesterday marked one week until Christmas Day. It has often caused me a mild depression but this year is a totally different feeling.
We had our dinner with my Hubby’s family last weekend and all the adults decided no gift exchange this year, just gifts for the kids. This is a good thing on many accounts; however, it made the day more like just a big family dinner. Mom made her awesome rouladen, which we all love, but without a turkey it just made it more like a regular get-together.
Hubby and I are not exchanging gifts this year either. I bought some material to make him some PJ pants but he knows about that so it really isn’t a surprise gift (and why I can write about it here). I showed him a couple of small things; however, I told him I don’t want/need anything.
I have gotten some gifts for all the kids in my life; however, for various reasons I won’t be seeing them on Christmas.
I also have not finished decorating the tree and the house, written cards or done any baking.
Now, please don’t get me wrong. Christmas isn’t about presents. That is just something that I love to do – make or pick out something for the people I truly care about. It also isn’t about decorations or food. For me, the reason for the season (and for everything) is the birth of Jesus.
I did not make it to my church’s Ladies’ tea, nor any of the advent services. Hubby works Christmas Eve and unless Kay can come with me, I don’t feel comfortable driving to the Candlelight Service. I could walk to a near-by church; however, even though it is still God’s house, it would be hard walking into a place I have never been before, by myself. I am praying this will all work out.
I have been celebrating advent on my own, though it is again not the same as being there with my church family.
I don’t celebrate with my sister any more because we made an agreement when Dad passed away that we would get together, just not on holidays or birthdays – she doesn’t like them. That is fine, I love her and respect her reasons.
Hubby and I haven’t decided if we are going to have some people for dinner or go to a movie on December 25th.
So, even though I will always have Jesus’ birthday in my heart on December 25th, this year has come so fast with nothing to plan, prepare, or look forward to.
No, I am not depressed. I am finding it hard to grasp that next Friday is Christmas Day.
Wow, I feel better just getting that all out! Merry Christmas or whatever you (do or don’t) celebrate everyone.