I have mentioned before that I have had a bingeing problem most of my life. I will eat things I shouldn’t or say that I didn’t when other people are not around.
It is not bulimia because I don’t binge and purge…I just binge. It doesn’t matter what kind of food it is, once I get a taste I want more and more. I am very good at it too. If a package is not open, I leave it alone. If there is only a small amount left, it stays where it is. If another person knows exactly how much is there and I can’t fudge it, it is not for the taking.
However, if there is a bag of chocolate coated almonds I will take a few and put the bag back where it was! This goes for chips, chocolate chips, cold meat, cheese slices, cake (a small sliver won’t be noticed), and the list goes on.
The way I have started keeping myself accountable is to bring someone else into the mix. We got a small variety of chocolates for Christmas and I had Hubby hide them from me. I did see where he put them (they weren’t that well hid LOL), and had no desire to go into them because I did not want to break his trust. Yesterday I did go into the bag to take out two pieces of dark chocolate covered ginger as my stomach was upset and candied ginger does help. But I did not get anything else out.
I hadn’t had a chance to tell him; however did instantly when he came into the kitchen with the bag. He was fine with it. Then he noticed that the dark chocolate bar was smaller than he had thought. I looked him straight in the eye and said I did not touch it. And that was the honest truth.
Whether he was just mistaken, or someone did take some, I am quite proud of myself that I didn’t have to lie because I didn’t do anything wrong. I did question him once about believing me and he said that yes he did, but it wouldn’t matter if I did take it.
It matters very much to me. You see, it is far more than just having my Hubby trust me and believe me. For once I was able to trust myself to do the right thing.