Well, after yesterday’s post about not wanting to use the store scooter carts, and the many people who wrote encouraging comments, I started to rethink it. And then…
I was having quite a rough night. I didn’t get settled until almost 5 am. Then, around 6:30 I woke up with a real start. I had once again rolled off the bed. We put a short safety bar at the head of the bed after my two falls last year; however, this time, my legs went over and pulled the rest of me partially to the floor. My head was protected at least.
Hubby woke up and came around to help pull me up but my bad leg was not strong enough to help lift my weight. It took us three tries with me trying to shift my bum further onto the bed so I could go up from there. I felt like I was a huge dead weight.
When I was finally upright, I was tired, frustrated, out of breath and sore all over. I eventually got back to sleep, only to be woken up at 8:30 for my pills and around 9:00 by my grocery delivery. After that, animals wanted to be fed, and it was time for my own breakfast. I will probably have an afternoon nap after hubby goes to work.
However, sleep is not my only or even main concern here. Having bipolar, I have gone through months where I slept 2 hours a night max and worked all day. I couldn’t do that now, thankfully but I cope.
What is bothering me is the increasing amount of falls I have been having, both in bed and walking around. It obviously isn’t my knee when I sleep, and it isn’t just about “rolling over too far” when I am up.
I feel this is a “wake-up call” from the Lord to slow down and swallow my pride. That Costco trip took a lot out of me and I did a bunch of stuff around the house later. I believe He is trying to show me that using store scooters, taking naps, pacing myself are what is needed to help me live the best life possible. This is opposed to my human thinking that I need to suck it up and try to live as “normally” as possible. Really, what IS normal?
When Hubby gets up I know we will be having a conversation about this. There are several sensible options for me – with the first one being that I lose some weight and start mildly exercising again. The pool is out for now; however, I have a couple of pieces of gym equipment suited for my abilities and a beautiful neighbourhood to walk in.
I think I will take a friend on those walks, just in case. 🙂