Yes, I misspelled “righting” in the title…or did I?
I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately, specifically relating to the time since I started this blog just over a year ago. I can see how I have become more positive as I get more down in words for the world to see. It also helps to read other people’s stories and how they have come through the same or completely different circumstances.
I have come to terms about my bingeing disorder and what needs to be done about it. Every time I eat something I shouldn’t I make myself tell my hubby about it. This is a huge step knowing that the whole thing behind the bingeing is the “sneak”. I have asked him to get rid of, or hide things. I had him come grocery shopping with me the other day. He was going to pick up a chicken from the deli and said I could wait in line with the cart while he went but I followed him so I wouldn’t be tempted by the chocolate bars by the cash register. I will have to go on my own, but will show him the receipts each time…and since I don’t carry cash there is no sneaking a bar or something separately! And I am really happy about all of this. I feel it is a huge step in the right direction.
What prompted this? Well, to be honest, it is partially due to feedback from some of you when I mentioned this problem in a previous post. Thank you for all the great encouragement, empathy, and advice!
Another area that is getting better is my personal hygiene. No, I am not a slob, LOL, but I have days where I am feeling blah physically or mentally so I don’t get dressed or may skip having a shower and put on comfy clothes. The big thing here is that the times I am feeling this way are the times I need to step up and pull myself together. A shower always refreshes and putting on more than a t-shirt and PJ pants makes me feel like I can take on the day. Okay, today is an exception – I am holding off on a shower and have put on a shirt I use for painting because a friend is coming over to dye my hair. So there is another way I am improving myself. But I am not dying my hair to “look better”, it is to feel better about me!
This week has been a rough one for me financially. I had several purchases come back to bite me and instead of fleeing to the nearest hole to crawl into, I faced two sets of fears on this one. There were two businesses I had to contact to cancel subscriptions. These were easier than I thought and went smoothly. I also had to call a company about an email they sent the first week of January but I missed the email. I was sure they were going to say my credit card didn’t work. However, they just wanted to verify my address as a couple of mailings went back to them. They also let me decline the current selection (DVD’s) so I didn’t have to find funds for that one! Finally, a much larger problem stemming from my confusion about a bank matter was solved when I told hubby and we worked it out together. He even told me that I am doing better and was pleased with what I handled myself!
Another matter I was having difficulty and wrote about a few posts ago was my physical abilities and how they are changing. I mentioned about whether or not I should use an electric shopping cart at the bigger stores. I think I will when I am ready (and I will know when that is). Right now, I still have some strength and energy and I would be better to put it to work to improve my stamina instead of worrying about when I won’t have it anymore. I have two exercise machines here that are suitable for my abilities. I need to get with it and just keep moving every day, even if it is just to do a few stretches if that is all I can manage!
Dealing daily with chronic pain throughout most of my body, several mental health issues and the chronic fatigue that go along with all of that, makes it difficult to see things the way they really are. My writing really helps.
I have worked safety nets and accountability into each of these areas and I am not expecting to master all of them instantly. There will be hiccups and obstacles. But I have family and friends here to help and to give comfort or encouragement, whatever is needed. I also have the Lord, who, even when I don’t always mention Him He plays the biggest role in how I make life decisions because I do my best and leave the rest in His hands.
Finally, I have my keyboard and this blog to thank. I am finding that when I write something down where the whole world can see it, I am more affected by it than just writing a journal, or talking about it.
So here’s to another year of writing wrongs and finding solutions! Thanks for joining me on this journey.