I started this post on Wednesday but thought I needed to run it by Hubby before I posted. He actually hasn’t seen it, but we talked and that was good enough.
Also, it turns out that my new business partner, the most awesome Anna from The Self-Actualized Life, was also writing about her honouring her Hubby for being supportive. That isn’t surprising – we are a lot alike, and our differences are what make us great business partners. You need to check us out at Global Media Mavens, Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram: globalmediamavens).
Okay, now on with the post at hand! And hold on tight, it’s a long one even for me!
Let me start off by saying that I do not mean anything funny or disrespectful by my choice of title. I am being very sincere when I say that my husband, and probably most spouses of the chronically ill, are to be honoured.
Bruno Mars sang that he would:
“…catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight right through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
(Read more: Bruno Mars – Grenade Lyrics | MetroLyrics)
But tell me, would Bruno Mars take a dental appointment for ya? Again, I am being very serious and thankful.
First, I need to say that Hubby’s health, while better than mine in some respects, is not great. He has a mysterious thyroid problem that they can’t seem to get under control. He wears a minimum of 5 t-shirts under his work shirt…and that is on a hot summer day. In the winter, he has been known to wear 10 shirts, including a couple of long-sleeved undershirts, and several layers of pants as well. He also has several food intolerances which add to his discomfort. There are some nights that neither of us get much restful sleep.
I was scheduled to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned Tuesday as the first step towards fixing the mess in my mouth. On Monday, I phoned in to say that I was having a rough time body-pain wise. This meant I was taking codeine based pain meds and while the drive is not my favourite normally, I didn’t want to attempt it while taking them. There was not, however, time for them to rebook the appointment so I said I would see what I could do about getting a ride.
It turned out that Hubby could drive me if we got him ready for work an hour early and then he would just arrive there about a half hour before he needed to. We also booked his brother for picking me up after and driving me home. This seemed like it was going to work well.
However, I had a rough night and could not wake up, plus the pain and nausea I had been feeling had gotten worse. Hubby was not feeling that well either with a case of the chills that made him realize he couldn’t put in a full day of driving. When he calls in for this I know he doesn’t feel safe at his job and doesn’t want to put his clients at risk. However, he said he could take me to my appointment and would sit bundled up and play on his computer. I could not stay awake and felt I needed to take some more pain medication (something I don’t take unless I have to).
I thanked him, paused for a second to catch my breath, literally, and then asked, “Do you think you could take the appointment for me instead?” This isn’t as far-fetched as it might seem because Hubby actually has a cleaning appointment booked for next week and I would just take that one instead. He looked at me, thinking, and then said, “I guess so”.
I was a little surprised that he agreed but was also very relieved. I felt bad that he was taking a day off to rest and get warm and he was going out for me, but I also knew he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t feel he could. (And just for the record, he does not take sick-days lightly).
Another way he supports me is he makes my breakfast every morning. It is a smoothie made with fruit, greens, coconut milk, and other healthy things. I honestly wouldn’t know how to make it if I tried. However, he feels connected to my health regimen by making it for me and for that I am grateful. Whatever his recipe is, it is perfect and tasty.
Hubby needs most of his down time to rest and keep warm. But he will go shopping for me, go with me or do without things if I can’t do it on my own. He will also make his own meals if I am having to catch up on sleep during the day.
I think the biggest thing that this man of mine does is help me to not feel disabled or chronically ill. He builds me up in so many positive ways and also goes out of his way to make things easier for me. This can be a little thing like filling a squirt bottle with dishwashing detergent so I can put the machine on by myself (not that he minds but I feel better if I can do it myself).
It can also be a much bigger thing like finding the perfect van for me to drive when I can and to feel comfortable in the passenger seat. People said that we were nuts to get a van because we don’t have kids and were struggling a little, plus they are gas guzzlers. That didn’t stop him and I love my Maroon 5-door vehicle. Punsters, Voice fans and music lovers might chuckle at the fact I named it “Levine”. (Oh, and a few months after we got it, Kay came back into our lives with two awesome little ones so we installed two car seats!)
Well, I know sainthood is not in reach for my humble husband, but in my world he is King! I have often referred to him as God’s gift to me for weathering the storms in my life. The Bruno Mars song below is how he makes me feel.
And I send a big shout-out to all spouses of those suffering from invisible illnesses.