How My Cat is Helping Me Overcome My Fear

Along with my mental health issues, which include bipolar, clinical depression, anxiety, and panic attacks just to name a few, I have several phobias. One of the biggest (along with claustrophobia), is my total fear of rodents!

In our old house, we were infested with rats and mice. They were everywhere! One night I was on a bit of a manic high due to a medication change. I was playing on the computer when I thought I saw something dart very fast across the room and under the door and then from there to under the linen closet door. I thought it must be a spider (another phobia) because I didn’t think mice moved that fast and it must be small. Either way, I ran to the bedroom barely touching the floor, woke up my hubby and started crying.

Every time I found poop in  my cupboards, towel drawer, etc., I felt shivers run up and down my spine. Once we were away visiting family over the holidays. We came home to find edible sprinkles all over the house (left over from a kid’s club cupcake decorating night). I dropped my suitcase and ran back to the car yelling “You are taking me to dinner!” I had calmed down by the time we got back but was still edgy as hubby cleaned up the mess and made sure the coast was clear. It went on with me almost stepping on one in our spare room, Hubby finding one in one of his computer towers (a real computer mouse!), we heard them in the walls and the garage. We got rid of the problem with traps finally, or at least we hoped we did.

I can’t watch TV or movie scenes with mice or rats (Mickey and Minny are okay) or even get too close to squirrels, hamsters, etc. And please don’t make me touch them. I actually like squirrels, but from a distance, please.

There is another side of this though. I can’t stand to see ANY animal being abused or killed in any way.

So, I finally come to the cat. Monkey has caught several rodents (and small birds unfortunately and brought them to the yard. I would let Hubby deal with it. We found we had a rodent in our storage room and Monkey “sat guard” at the entrance several times a day. She would also go in, sniffing, trying to find it. Well, two days ago she obviously got it. I was out getting the mail with Violet (our dog) and as we left Monkey came in through the back door but she didn’t seem to have anything with her. When we came back I thought she was playing with a toy – yup, a dead mouse. There was no blood on it so either she found it dead or it died of a heart attack or something while she tossed it around. I was trying to figure out what to do. I got a bag and was actually going to pick it up when she grabbed it and  ran out back. I closed the sliding door but I opened it later when she didn’t have the mouse in sight. Sure enough, she brought it back in and I chased her out again. The door remained closed but she was determined to bring it in. Not a chance!

I think my main concern was how did it die. Did it ingest poison and if so would Monkey get sick? I cried when I saw her with a dead bird, but for some reason, I was a lot more calm over this one. And I started to realize that if my cat (and dog, Violet is a mouser too) don’t fear them, why should I? I know that killing small creatures is normal for cats, and that part upsets me but I think that and my fear are finally balancing out. It took Monkey guarding the storeroom and finally getting her prey to realize this has all been silly.

Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t scream if one gets in my path… baby steps!

Lydia!