I know, that is a very ominous title. However, anyone with bipolar knows that there are certain tendencies that need tough love!
I have not had many manic episodes or deep depressions for several years now. In fact, I think I can honestly say that my moods are in “normal” ranges – at least compared to my uncontrolled days.
One area that I still have difficulty with is spending. That is really hard to admit in public, but the more I am open about things the more I feel I can get control of them. But it is nice to get a little help sometimes. In this case, I believe the help came from God…via my bank!
A few months ago I gave my credit and debit cards to Hubby. I only kept the card for my grocery and other budget accounts. I also have not carried cash for a long time as it is too easy to spend and without accountability. Lately, my debit card has been acting up and I was having problems with it at several stores.
Hubby called up the bank to replace both of our cards because his is just starting to have the same problems. Our bank is an online one that has a head office but no branches. It was bought by another (regular) bank; however, ours was not changed. The only exception was that we now use the parent company’s bank machines.
Well, Hubby was told that the card takes five – seven business days to arrive and then you have to validate it. They also close the current card right when the application for the new one goes in. We decided to do it just on mine for now because it is the worst one and Hubby has been taking me shopping anyway as I am not up to driving. He is paying and then I am transferring the money to him. What a great man I have!
So, that means I have no source of funds whatsoever for a good week! And you know something? It actually feels very freeing. My spending habits have been something that has bothered me for a long long time and it seems the harder I try the more I fail. It is like trying out fad diets – you get stressed out about eating only what you are supposed to and the stress makes you eat more and what you shouldn’t. In my case, stress leads to spending… sometimes on things I shouldn’t eat LOL!
Now I mentioned that the Bank and God were responsible for my current life lesson on spending. I don’t add the Lord in there lightly. James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift comes through Christ…” Not only do I believe that His hand was in the changing of the card, I believe He gave me the strength to rise above it.
So, I may be cut off from my money but I am learning that I don’t have to spend it to be happy. Actually, that old way of thinking was not only part of my illness, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.