When it comes to OCD, my symptoms could be considered mild compared to many people.
One area that is a definite trigger is when something I have grown used to suddenly doesn’t happen or does not go smoothly. I obsess as to the reasons why and can not concentrate on anything else. It doesn’t matter if this is a minor glitch, it takes over and becomes catastrophic.
On Friday I placed an order through our grocery store’s online delivery service. This service has proved to be invaluable for me as it allows me to do my shopping by myself and not rely on Hubby to drive me there when I can’t get out myself. This fact alone makes me feel independent again and fills my need to contribute to the family.
The service allows you to make an order online complete with notes on how you want your deli meat sliced and a selection of time slots for delivery the next day. They even have a sliding delivery fee depending on the time of day you select – morning is $7.95 and late evening is $4.95 with others in between going up by $1.00 each. When I can, I pick the later delivery times so that I can put that extra fee into groceries instead.
So, my delivery was scheduled for between 6 and 8 pm last night. Hubby went out to his brother’s as he usually does on Saturdays and was later than normal as they are working on their Halloween light show.
I had a nap between 4 and 5:30 and made sure I was up and ready before 6 as the orders usually come closer to the early delivery time. Hubby called at 7 pm just to check in and I had thought the call would have been the order (they call just before they arrive). I mentioned my concern, but we did have one delivery that was slightly late (though they called to let us know).
When I looked at the clock and it said 7:45, the anxiety kicked in big time! I was trying to write a blog post on an award nomination but could not concentrate. I tried to find a way to call, but the number I had only reached the store, not the online shopping and they told me I had to call at 8 am today.
I am barely able to wake up and take pills at 8:30 am.
Now, this shouldn’t have been a big deal. There are a couple of items we needed for this morning; however, it’s not like we don’t have other options. But my mind doesn’t work like that. If something doesn’t go as planned I become unable to concentrate on anything else. My world totally falls apart. That may sound drastic and may not even always show that bad on the outside, but inside I am inconsolable. It triggered my anxiety, increased my insomnia and I believe it contributed to my elevated pain levels.
So, I finally found an old receipt from a previous delivery and it had an email address and direct phone number. I called and got a friendly young woman who was very apologetic. What happened?
I still don’t know. For some reason, unknown to her, my order didn’t make it on the truck and since I didn’t call earlier it didn’t make it on the early trucks either. But I shouldn’t have had to call. They should have been calling me.
The service rep credited my refund and gave me an extra credit of $10 off my next order. That is nice, but please, I need my order. She said she could get it here by 4 pm. Well, I guess that will do.
I am still a wreck inside my mind. I had included some items that I needed to do some more gluten free baking and items we needed for today’s morning smoothies. And I still don’t know why I didn’t receive the order or got a phone call. She said the person she needed to talk to wasn’t in and would follow up on it. Will they call and tell me? Will she even actually follow up? These and other questions are constantly traveling through my head.
On top of all that, the internet has been down this morning. I am writing this offline for later publication. I can’t look at it as using the down time wisely.
Just another complication in my routine.
I can’t even play my favourite distraction – a Facebook game called Cookie Jam. I need the internet for that too.
Well, I am done ranting at least. Thanks for letting me ramble on about this. Hopefully, I will get the order in roughly three hours and all will be right with my world again.
At least until the next hiccup that sets me off.
PS I finally got an email that just says they have identified the issue and are taking it up with the personal shopper and driver. They didn’t say what the problem was but assured me they will make sure it doesn’t happen again. I guess I can live with that.