The title basically says it all. My abilities – mental, physical and emotional are just bad enough that I need a ton of help for even the smallest of tasks, but not bad enough that I can accept it.
Just in the past week, I needed a ton of help.
- I needed my husband to pick up items at the store around midnight when he got off work because I am not driving during the winter months. Either this or he gets up early so he can take me to the store.
- Hubby was late getting to work on Wednesday because he took me to the dentist and I was in the chair for 1 1/2 hours – a lot longer than was planned.
- At the dentist, I forgot my pillow for under my knee so they had to find something. They also put a rolled towel under my neck. I have to be sat up once in awhile because I can’t stay still very long.
- I also can’t keep my jaw open for long periods so they have to use a bite block to keep it open.
- Oh, and because of my knee replacement I have to take 2,000 mg of Amoxil one hour before any appointment where they will be doing work on my teeth, including cleaning.
- I need to be helped when I go out because there is a lot of snow and ice on the ground and we are not used to it here. I don’t have spikes on my cane because the rain can wash the snow away in a heartbeat and I would be changing it back and forth.
- I use my long-handled shoehorn to put on my boots at home; however, when I am out, I need Hubby or someone to help me put them back on.
- If I fall anywhere I have a difficult time getting up and I have been stumbling a lot lately which terrifies me, especially when I am alone.
- Anytime I go out with friends, someone has to pick me up and I live a fair distance from them all.
There is a lot more I could add to this list, but I think you get the idea. These may seem like small things to most people but when you add them all up it really is a big deal. I feel like I can’t do anything for myself anymore.
On top of this, there are all the food restrictions and intolerances. Hubby and I have decided that we will be very good at home but will allow ourselves to have what we want (within reason of course) when eating out. This makes it easier when going to a friend’s house.
I know I am blowing things out of proportion but this week I was just very worn out and having a difficult time (i.e. feeling sorry for myself). What I should be doing is thanking the Good Lord for giving me family and friends who accept me with all of the above.
And the truth is, it only feels like high maintenance when I am not feeling the greatest and need the help – which, I might add is there when I need it. I have said before that I am actually grateful for all the trials I have been put through because they have made me not only a stronger person but have equipped me to help others through similar situations.
So, high maintenance I may be, but at least there are a lot of people who care enough to maintain me! 😀
Lydia!
Being Lydia! 
Oh they all seem like big deals to me. Not small at all
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Well in the big scheme of things they are small.
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They can just add up sometimes and feel big for me at least
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Oh, yes, and that is why I wrote about it. I was so overwhelmed at that point in time. It felt like there was nothing I could do for myself! <3. At least we have our writing which is our own!
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In those moments I take a warm shower and get in my bed because I know I’ve been overstimulated and everything will feel too much
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That is a great strategy. I usually turn to my computer and listen to soothing music while getting down my feelings (most of it never makes the save button or the blog!)
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You are really lucky to have people, who can help you, when needed Lydia 🙂
It is not fun not to be able to do much for yourself, so I do understand, what you mean.
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Thanks, Irene.
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Im sure it feels so frustrating at times. I’m also glad that you have people who support you. I’m sure they understand how frustrated you may feel sometimes too. Hang in there!
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Thank you!
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Lydia, my guess is you are a good friend to have good friends. I would also imagine you will do something you often do and find a way to thank people for their efforts. From my reading, you are the kind of person who laments being trouble to anyone. So, first let them help you and then, thank them in ways which you can, but also unique to each relationship. Take care of you. Keith
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Thank you Keith for those very kind and encouraging words.
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“I have said before that I am actually grateful for all the trials I have been put through because they have made me not only a stronger person but have equipped me to help others through similar situations.” Lydia, I say the same thing! In fact, last year at our church Thanksgiving dinner, I said that. A friend said she couldn’t imagine that. At this year’s Thanksgiving dinner, she said that after all the trials she and her husband had been through this year, she understands now.
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Thanks, dear friend. ❤
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Hummmmmm…..okay….I don’t want you to feel that your that different….my sister won’t drive in the snow where she lives so her husband has to leave the house 3 hours early to take her to work and then drive back home so he can get ready, they live on the side of the Olympic mountains in Washington state so, at least a full month or so he is her driver….the road up to the house is a sheet of ice…I always send my hubby to the store…I absolutely hate to shop!!! I am getting better about it, but I would have my groceries delivered to my house if I wasn’t picky about my vegetables…LOL however we have a wonderful vegie stand down here, I will go there and shop…LOL MY dentist has to always roll up a towel to put behind my neck…I had a neck injury and always have a roll under my neck…dentist, surgeries in bed….that’s been going on for over 40 years…and they keep big bath blankets in a warmer….so I always have to have a warm blanket too!!! What can I say I am a baby in the dentist office…LOL my hubby has to take ABX every time he goes to the dentist to…he had a TKR in 2011…he hates it….I love the spike on the end of the cane…when I visit my sister in the winter, her driveway is a sheet of ice, I fall more than I stand…and its a long way down onto hard ice….I used her walker on the ice so I had something to slide around with….never thought about spikes on a cane…very smart there!!! Sorry about the boots…since I only wear clogs, have since I was old enough to refuse to wear anything else I haven’t had the boot problem…but hey, that’s what love is all about….you would do it for him, I know you would!!! and having your friends come get you…well isn’t that the love of a good friend….I would bet that they don’t even have a second thought about it…your a wonderful person and that’s why we have good friends….and they love us for who we are….nothing wrong with being high maintenance….I have many more that I could add to your list….LOL your not alone in this department….so no more stressing on that part of your life…it is what it is…smile and carry on….xxxxkat
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Thanks, kat. No, I have never for one moment ever thought I was alone in this, believe me. And it was more me having a conversation with myself that it is all about attitude. I have very fortunate. When the whole incident in the grocery store happened yesterday I realized that it was my pay-back for thinking I was “special” for being high maintenance. Thanks for setting me straight and I am sorry to hear you are part of the “club” but at least we are good company for each other. ❤
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I was trying to set you straight, just wanted you to know you weren’t alone in this journey of life….never would I try to set you straight my friend….just want to walk beside you and keep you company….LOL xxxkat
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❤ I know! {{{hugs}}}
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I understand. My warranty has expired too.
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Love it! Thanks, Ann!
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