Posted on by LydiaA1614

“Nobody Posts Their B-sides!”

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Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts and Attempts

I was watching NCIS (the original series) tonight. A young man is seen in a car with his dad. They are having a bit of a heated conversation along the lines of the son not being able to meet the dad’s expectations. The dad gets out of the car to go across the street and get money from an ATM to help out his son who was just laid off from his job.

The dad is hit by a fast moving van and instantly dies. You see the son crying over his dad’s body as it goes into opening credits.  The Dad is a Navy officer (and hero) which makes the son feel all the more unworthy.

When the NCIS team gets there the son is nowhere to be found. The only reason they know he was there is an elderly lady who was at the ATM heard the collision and saw the son with his dad’s body, screaming “Dad, Dad.”

You next see the son up on a high ledge of the bank building. Jimmy Palmer, the Medical Examiner’s Assistant goes out after him. They talk and at first, there is no consoling the son, Ryan. However, they start talking about their careers and that they aren’t really where they would like to be and Ryan starts to calm down. They start talking about how people in Social Media have it made, always talking about trips and cars and houses they have bought.

To this Jimmy says, “they never post their b-sides!” When Ryan questions him, Jimmy replies that people only post their good stuff. They probably go through a lot of the same stuff the two of them do.

The show goes on from there (the rest of the team are trying to prove that Ryan wasn’t responsible for his Dad’s death so he will come back in off the ledge). But I was so intrigued by this line that I had to come and write about it. Thankfully I have a PVR!

Anyway, I think this is the perfect lead-in for Bell “Let’s Talk Day” tomorrow (or today if you are back East).

I definitely post my b-sides and pretty well every chronic illness blogger I know of does as well. Whether dealing with mental illness or chronic physical conditions, we talk about our bad stuff because that is how we deal with it. It also helps those around us understand what we are going through.

And while it is great that we read each others’ b-sides, it is more important that they are seen by people who haven’t experienced a depression, chronic pain, a panic attack or MS. So, we have started the conversation – you can see by all of the Guest Posts I have shared over the last ten days – and now we need you to keep it going.

Go to the blogs of these ladies and check out other blogs. There are sites you can go to such as The Bipolar Blogger Network and the  Chronic Illness Bloggers Network to connect with other people who share their stories on a regular basis.

Please, hear our side, ask your questions, don’t be afraid to share your b-sides*,  … Let’s Talk!

Michael Landsberg is a Canadian Sportscaster who shares an incredible story.

Lydia!

* I am not a professional nor do I suggest anyone I have mentioned to be a professional. If you feel you need help, please go to your family doctor or someone you can really trust.

21 Replies to ““Nobody Posts Their B-sides!””

  1. I hadn’t heard the term ‘post their B sides’, but a couple weeks ago, one of my friend’s told me she’d discovered a neighbor’s blog … and he’d posted photos of another neighbor’s yard, claiming it was his own. i also recall a scene in Under the Tuscan Sun where the granny was doing something on social media and posing as a much younger person. Thus, I frequently wonder how many people post the lives they have, or those they wish they had.

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    1. Hmm, that’s interesting. The phrase, as far as I know, was just in the TV series (I finally finished watching it and it was mentioned again). I took it as meaning that people in Social Media write all the good stuff (new cars, trips, weddings, etc.) but not the b-side of their life (meaning the tough stuff). My A-side is my writing about my pets, Hubby, hobbies; however, my b-side would be my chronic illnesses. In the show they were saying that Social media doesn’t show their b-sides, and I say we do! 🙂
      But I do understand what you are getting at and I remember that scene in the movie! And it is true, how do we know what is true and what isn’t? Of course I don’t make up the pain, so I think it is a safe bet the other stuff is true as well 😉 And no, I never for a second thought you were questioning me LOL!

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      1. I’m not saying that you make things up and/or misrepresent yourself. I’m just saying that is does happen, so some “A games” are more grand illusion than reality and you can bet that those blogs don’t show the ‘other side’.
        Hope you have a great day!

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  2. I write about my B-sides because I want people to feel supported when they read my blog. I don’t expect them to lead these perfect, happy lives anymore than me. It’s very important to talk about our vulnerability and pain and I’m thrilled that you have this series. I have a feeling I may share a story with you one day.

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    1. Thank you for “validating” my take on what Palmer said. I am sure if I hadn’t been working on mental health stuff for 10 days and having Let’s Talk looming the next day, the whole analogy would have slipped by me. But knowing someone else felt the same way helps! Yes, let’s (all of us) never stop talking! 🙂

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  6. Posting the B side! This is a great phrase. I saw the NCIS as well. Suicide and depression have run in my family. Thanks for posting this as the greater awareness of mental illness that exists now is so important. People in my family hid behind closed doors and took their own lives. The more open we can be about it the better

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      1. I believe it is best to talk and get it out into the open. otherwise it is a pressure cooker waiting to explode. In my family that resulted in death: an aunt , a cousin and my father. This was many years ago and I think that now they would have opened up and got help. I believe we are moving forward.

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      2. That is so good to hear. My family basically swept my illness under a rug but also through their embarrassment of me would not allow themselves to see me change for the better. My parents are both gone now with no reconciliation and I have basically said goodbye to my sister because my health has to come first.

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