I love Paul Simon’s music. While this particular song has no connection to what I am going to be talking about, the title is a great way to start.
Today is a nice sunny day. It is still a little cold, but I love brisk sunny days. It is supposed to get even colder tonight.
So, why the category of depression? It is ironic that I worked for almost 2 weeks on promoting awareness about mental illness and directly after I go into a medium depression. Or maybe it isn’t.
I have been housebound for most of the winter, I have been fighting chest, sinus, and other infections and have been going through many very harsh pain flares. And even though the work on the awareness was not strenuous but a labor of love, it did take a bit of a toll on me as well.
Reading the stories of women I look up to in the blogging world and posting them, making sure everything was appropriately tweeted, Facebooked, etc., writing my own posts, finishing a product review, and keeping up with what others were tweeting, blogging, Facebooking…
When you are diagnosed with depression you must be totally aware of what a certain activity may affect that condition. In my case, I have to be doubly mindful because if I become too busy I could easily slip into a manic phase just as easily as depression. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and bipolar (though when I was diagnosed it was still called manic depression). I know that I will always have these illnesses; however, I like to say that I now have control over them and not the other way around. It has taken a lot of hard work to get to this point and there have been a lot of tears shed.
So, back to the sunny day. I had been feeling very low the past couple of days and as I said I attribute it to lack of sleep, finishing my project, fighting illness and being reminded of what mental illness does to a person.
Last night I was able to talk to my husband about something I wanted to purchase. I told him how it would help us and that the money we would save by buying it right then (the sale was over in 6 hours counting down), and all the money we could potentially save in the future. We had a great discussion and he agreed. In the past, I would make a purchase and then have to back paddle to explain myself – a very bipolar trait!
After that, the tension just started to flow out of my body. I still didn’t get to sleep until almost 7 am, but it was mainly pain and not emotion keeping me up.
And then I wake up to a beautiful sunny day. I want to finish this up because I think Violet, Monkey and I might just get our first walk of the year in. At the very least I will get a few trips to the recycle bins!
I wish you all a sunny day, no matter what the weather is like in your area.
PS, I was going to include a video of Paul Simon’s song but I couldn’t find a decent one.