Hesitate is defined at Dictionary.com as “to be reluctant or wait to act because of fear, indecision, or disinclination.”
This is basically a description of most of my life.
I hesitated to make decisions, complete tasks, take action, or admit feelings because I was afraid of being wrong. Growing up I let others bully me or make me believe that my ideas or opinions were wrong.
I am taking full ownership of this because it is true. I was the one who hesitated, was fearful and let others walk all over me.
But, I have changed. I finally love the skin I am in. Yes, I wish sometimes there was less of it, but it is me. I love me for who I am, not who I think I should be for others. I am not afraid to have an opinion, let alone speak it.
An example is the first career I ever wanted, was so passionate about, was to have a syndicated column in a newspaper, or write a book. That was in elementary school! But as the self-confidence drained from my body and I started on the road to depression and bipolar, I became unsure. I hesitated and ended up leaving university and never went back.
One area I have tried hard not to hesitate with is my faith. Yes, there have been (many) times where I questioned God, “why me? why again?”. However, He usually does show me why and it is always something that strengthens my love for Him.
There have been so many woulda/coulda/shoulda’s in my life that I could write a self-help book on how not to get through life. But I don’t want that to be what my book is about. I want it to be about how to succeed when it seems there are obstacles everywhere!
When the opportunity and resources present themselves I am not going to hesitate. I am going to make that dream come true!