Okay, now that I am back from my little “leave of absence” I can tell you the full story.
Last Thursday I was scheduled for surgery to repair an incisional hernia caused by a previous surgery in 2014. It has been getting increasingly large and painful, but then again, what’s one more pain, right?
I was being sarcastic there, but the truth is, I have been stressing over this surgery since talking to my GP and surgeon about it several months ago. I know I need it; however, for me, any surgery is complicated.
- I have a condition where any cut to my body (inside or out) causes scar tissue to grow around the area. The more surgeries to remove it, the more scar tissue occurs.
- While my current surgeon is really good and I trust him completely, there are still the fears caused by the doctor who took out my gallbladder and “cleaned up” the scars (adhesions) from a couple of previous abdominal surgeries. He ended up causing a hematoma in my liver that had to be drained, he nicked my appendix causing it to burst 6 months later and requiring emergency surgery with the doctor I now have.
- When removing my appendix, the good surgeon found my hernia but it was small at the time and was a totally different procedure. However, on my follow-up visit, he said that I should watch it and if/when it got worse to come back.
- I am claustrophobic and while I am getting better, the oxygen mask the put on when putting me out and then is always on when I wake up (I am an acute asthmatic) can make me panic.
- General anesthetic makes me ill and I have a hard time coming out of it.
- I said above, I am an asthmatic and have problems with my breathing sometimes.
- There are very few antibiotics I can take but I need to take them to protect my knee replacement and my compromised immune system.
I could probably go on, but you get the picture. Surgery is not one of my favorite things. Not that I think others see it as a walk in the park, those are my issues and I feel if I lay them out there it isn’t so scary for me.
So, back to the story. I was stressing out for a solid month before the surgery date. I had people praying for me and by the time I was actually getting ready to leave for the hospital I was at peace. Within a couple of hours, it would all be over and I could recuperate and get on with my life.
I made arrangements for my blog, got things ready for my Hubby, who had taken the week off to take me to my pre-op on Tuesday and be with me Friday to Sunday. I really felt ready to do this. I talked with Dee Wednesday night and Coach Thursday morning. They both encouraged me and prayed for me.
So, we left the house to drive to the hospital on a rainy/snowy day. we parked but Hubby wanted to get me up there first and then was going to pay for the parking on his phone rather than wasting time in the parkade. We walked into the reception area and the woman asked my name. She said she would be right back. Before she came back a nurse was walking down the hall and I knew right away. She asked if I was Lydia and I said, “I’ve been bumped.” She said yes, that she had just tried to call us but didn’t leave a message because we were probably on our way.
At least I wasn’t in my hospital gown, or on the stretcher waiting to go in as happened to we know. I took the news very well (at the time). We knew there was a 50/50 chance I could be bumped at any time for an emergency but you think positive, right? They did change the time from 12:30 noon to 2:30 pm.
We decided we wouldn’t take another 50/50 spot even though I need the surgery soon. Hubby can’t afford another week off but will take a day or two as needed for the surgery and recovery. I also can’t take that level of stress either. When dealing with an unknown my OCD slams into overdrive. I make up scenarios, I go back and forth on canceling it altogether to hoping it will be done and over.
I did have a bit of a meltdown at home. Poor hubby got the brunt of it but we talked and all was good. I will probably not get called back until April or May. But I would rather have a more solid booking than the 50/50.
I decided to take the weekend off anyway. I had been battling a cold but willing it away prior to the scheduled surgery and after it was over, the bug hit me hard. I also needed to catch up on sleep that the anxiety took away.
Then another factor that made not having the surgery God’s will. We have been having a small flood in the entrance to our bedroom & ensuite every time it rains or snows. It is not coming from our shower or the bathtub in the other bathroom and seems to be coming from a leak, but we have a three-story unit above us! The property management have been working on it but slowly. Thursday they tore you the bottom two feet of drywall on the affected walls to see what was going on. Well, we both were getting nauseated and realized mold was coming through so Hubby covered it with bags, opened windows and turned on all the air purifiers we have. It is better, but not great.
We called this morning and were told that they will be back THURSDAY to re-evaluate. So, we are to sit back and get sick until Thursday?