Chronic Pain, Heal Thyself?

Daily Prompt – Heal

ChronicPainThe word “heal” can take on a whole different meaning when you have a chronic illness.

I remember the first thing they told us at my pain management program was “We are not here to take your pain away. If you could be healed from it, you wouldn’t be here.” The words hit hard, but we all knew it was true. We were there to learn how to live with our symptoms the best way possible.

As a Christian, I believe the Lord can heal anyone. And this isn’t about faith healings, just that God is in control of everything in my life.

So do these two things contradict for me? No, not at all. When people say they are praying for God to heal me, I say for them to pray for God’s will. He never lets anything happen without reason and I believe I go through what I do because I can then help others.

No, that doesn’t make the pain or other symptoms any less. What it does do is strengthen me to handle them. I often say to doctors or technicians when they tell me something is going to hurt that the good thing about chronic pain is it makes other pain tolerable. I don’t know if they ever understand what I mean by that. It is just important to me to put things in the positive.

When I cut my finger on a mandoline slicer my reason for going to Emergency was the bleeding, not the pain. When the doctor froze the finger he said the freezing would sting a lot. I just did my breathing, making sure I was exhaling as he went in. I had to hold my breath for the mammograms so I just concentrated on that and the squeezing didn’t hurt at all.

When someone asks how I am doing and I say that the pain isn’t bad, many say they are so glad I am healed.

I am not healed.

For one, the pain is still there and always will be in some form and intensity. On another level, I am not just dealing with pain. Nausea is almost a constant and is brought on by a lot of other things. I am out of breath much of the time thanks to asthma, allergies and being out of shape. Fatigue and insomnia are constant companions and can affect pain and other levels. Memory and thought functions are some days non-existant because of medications and the fact that the brain is working overtime to manage all the other symptoms.

I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t say that there are times when I get really angry and others where I just want to crawl into a ball and feel sorry for myself. But neither of these emotions sticks around for long. I pick myself up and am thankful that I have what I have in life. There are so many people worse and those are the ones I hope I can help in some way.

As for being “healed”, I don’t even think about it anymore. If my conditions could be stopped at the level they are at right now and not get worse, I think I would consider that healing.

Lydia!

23 Replies to “Chronic Pain, Heal Thyself?”

  1. I know exactly what you mean, and feel the same way. I would love to be healed, but don’t think about it either. I think that we come to this place, and other’s wouldn’t understand unless they had also been there.

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  2. You sound like you are in almost exactly the same place as my mom, and you are both wonderful troopers! I admire you so much. Just watching someone in constant pain makes me feel badly. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I don’t believe in the gift of healing but I also believe that God can heal. He won’t always choose to, but I pray one day He will relieve your suffering as well as my mom’s in this world. I know He will in the world to come. God bless you and keep looking to and pointing to Him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your encouragement and sharing about your Mom. Yes, I do believe it is all in His hands and that is a huge comfort – maybe the greatest pain management tool of all.

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  3. This is a great post. As a Christian, I really struggle with the concept of healing. On one hand, of course, I believe God is all powerful, and God can heal anyone. I believe the healings in the bible were real. I believe healings do still happen today to show Christ’s power. But I do not believe everyone will be healed. I believe sin widespread and evil caused disease to spread and run rampant, though no one person’s sin ever, ever causes them to get sick. It is a random, horrible thing, but God can make good come out of it. I believe that most likely, God will not.heal me in this lifetime, but that God will use my chronic pain for some other good, and I will find healing in heaven.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so glad I found your blog. It’s not easy to find someone who also believes in God’s healing powers. I pray to be healed daily. And I pray for strength and endurance to deal with the pain in the meantime. I have some chronic conditions and anxiety and depression. I just started blogging. Feel free to check it out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will definitely check out your blog. I will pray for healing on you as well as I believe a person can never get enough prayer! It isn’t always easy for me but it is in the darkest times when I may be tempted to give up on God that I realize He will never give up on me!

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