Posted on by LydiaA1614

This Blogger Is (Temporarily) Out Of Order

I have tried to start close to a dozen posts over the last week or so and they don’t get very far.

It isn’t that I have writer’s block as the ideas are readily there. It is more that my brain just can’t put them into any semblance of order. The reason is, and I really hate to admit this, I am in a deep and dark depression.

There are events that have added to this (the 24th and 5th anniversaries of my Mother and Father’s passing, respectively), but I believe the real source is that I have just been dealing with too much pain for way too long.

While I have had small bouts of depression, and even hypomania (a lesser form of mania), I thought I was immune to it. I thought I had my emotions under control and was stronger than any mood swing that could ever come my way. Well, I guess I am human after all.

I need to use what energy and strength I have to fight the pain and the depression. So, I am going to take whatever time I need to do this. I may write a post or reblog something that I feel is worthy; however, I won’t do it unless it totally feels right.

One of the main reasons that I pour my heart out in this blog is in the hopes that it will help someone else. And I can’t help anyone if I don’t first help myself.

I hope you all will be around when I come back.

Lydia!

30 Replies to “This Blogger Is (Temporarily) Out Of Order”

  1. Lydia, I applaud your decision for not putting additional pressure on yourself with blogging “no matter what”. I’m sure it wasn’t a light decision but I’m sure it’ll help you a lot. Journaling helped me a lot when I was in that dark pit but it really was just for me and no-one else to see. We’ll be here when you come back so just take your time 💚

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  4. I’m sorry to hear this Lydia. You always sound so upbeat and you’re always still so caring and mindful towards others, even while depressed…I had no idea! I know what it’s like down in that hole, so feel free to ping me on messenger whenever you need a listening ear. Sending hugs and good thoughts xxx

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  8. Bless you Lydia. The well of depression I know well. My positive thoughts are with you. While you are there look up at the sky, watch the clouds, know that you are alive and loved and start climbing back up again. Much love.

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