Well, it is the 13th of the month and I am just getting this out, but it is earlier than last month! Once again, Sheryl from A Chronic Voice has picked some great prompts.
I have been trying to work out what to do regarding some new and recurring symptoms I have been having lately.
What I thought was my benign positional vertigo (BPV) seems to be something more. I have an earache which could very well be the cause so I need to go get it checked out. The problem here is that my hubby works when the clinic is open and even though it is only a few blocks away, I don’t drive when I am feeling dizzy, fatigued, in too much pain, or (most definitely) when it is all of the above. We didn’t get there this weekend and I thought I was feeling better, but I am going to have to find my way there soon.
My cough has been coming back in spurts and when I go outside I am finding it very hard to breathe. Watching the news we found out that forest fires in the interior (and on Friday a local warehouse fire) plus the heat are dropping the air quality levels. This affected both Hubby and me just after we moved here a year ago and it looks like it is happening again.
Finally, I have been very depressed lately with slight glimpses of manic moments thrown in for good (bad?) measure. I was able to discern that this was from a combination of guilt, fear, and pride. I was able to strip those three emotions down and have a very good talk with Hubby yesterday. It will take a while to work things out but we will. So that no one’s mind is racing, this pertains to my addiction to a video game and spending money. I will probably feature that in its own post soon.
I am trying to complete commitments I have made to others and to myself by using my techniques such as pacing and breathing. In some cases, I have had to off-load some of my commitments such as acting as a moderator for the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network. I loved the work, which mostly consisted of facilitating the scheduling team that makes member posts available to the public. What I miss the most is the people I worked with.
I also finished a review that was due for some fantastic products. I have stopped doing reviews for a while until my health is better. What is ironic here is that I am stopping testing out products that may help my chronic conditions so I can concentrate on getting a handle on my chronic conditions!
Do you know that saying “I can feel lonely in a crowd”? Likewise, my life is never boring but I do get bored.
The not boring stuff is all the health challenges I deal with daily, juggling the small amount of housework I can get done, writing, family, etc. It keeps me going.
However, the boring part comes in when I am too tired to go out with friends or to go across the street to the dog park where both Miley and I have friends. It is being up at 4 am not being able to sleep and having only computer games and/or TV to keep me occupied because I can’t concentrate on anything more.
Miley (dog) and Monkey (cat) have become very cuddly lately. With both of them, it has to be on their terms but they both seem to be happy to have together time with me. And they both seem to know when I need it. I have gotten into a pattern where I lay back in my recliner after taking my final nightly pills and leaving the light off. I might have the TV on or not, depending on how sleepy I am. When it is off, I do my breathing and relaxation exercises. Monkey usually jumps up for a final “goodnight” before curling up on the pet bed in the living room. When I wake up I assess whether I can sleep in bed or that I need cough medicine, etc. Once ready, I go into the bedroom where Miley (often on my side of the bed) gives me a few quick kisses before moving to the bottom of the bed between Hubby and me.
I also cuddle with hubby, though if you have fibromyalgia or know anyone with it, you will know that cuddling is not always an easy or good thing. I usually sleep on top of the covers as otherwise, they (and any clothing) can hurt. So, often our cuddling is sitting in the living room with him on the love seat and me in my recliner beside him, holding hands while watching something on TV or just talking.
I used to be able to talk on the phone for hours. The person on the other end would be trying to get in a word edge-wise so they could end the call. Now I am the one who needs to get off in a timely manner. It is getting harder to formulate thoughts into words and there can be long periods of silence, even when my Hubby calls on his lunch break. Talking in person can be a little easier but for some reason, the easiest way for me to communicate is via a keyboard. By this, I mean text, chat, blog, email, tweet, etc. And since I have a program that allows me to text on my desktop, that is even easier than it was on my phone.
Well, that pretty well sums up my answers to the August prompts. I am looking forward to what September has to offer…and maybe I will get it done even earlier in the month! LOL