Chronic Compromises – Choices

We all know the negatives that the coronavirus has brought to our lives. The deaths, loss of jobs and even businesses, and quarantine/isolation have taken their toll on the world.

I have had to self-isolate for most of the past year due to my recently diagnosed immune deficiency. Apparently, I have had it all my life; however, I didn’t know until I met an incredible specialist who tested for it in November before Covid-19 hit.  This revelation gave me a few months on the treatment before it would be put to the ultimate test.

My Hubby is a driver of an accessibility bus and considered a front line worker. He drives seniors and people with disabilities to appointments, etc. With my immune levels still low, he took a temporary leave from his job so he would not bring the virus home to me. We received funding from the Canadian Government, but it only pays half of his regular salary. We cut down on expenses or at least tried to. He went back for one month until the numbers of Covid-19 cases went sky high (we almost made hit 1,000 new cases in the province of BC in one day.) It’s not as high as other provinces or places worldwide; however, our high during the first wave was in the low 100’s.

A few months ago, I experienced the worst episode of bipolar symptoms I have had in more than 15 years. It resulted from confinement (I am very claustrophobic) and, ironically, fear of going out into “the big bad world.” Depression would be followed by manic episodes and back again.

The next straw was pain. It started with a flare of my sciatica, then became arthritic and fibromyalgia pain all over. There have been days that it is so debilitating that I couldn’t get comfortable in any position, especially lying down. This added anxiety to the mix.

Other symptoms have included migraines, a reoccurrence of my asthma cough, meaning another run of prednisone and anti-biotics, which just added to the downward spiral.

Then I got this quote from my Hubby at a perfect moment. I have always tried to be an optimist. And to take it a step further, I try to give all of it to the Lord in prayer. I have reached out to others to pray as well.

“When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.”
– Harvey Mackay

It is just that sometimes things seem so overwhelming that you can’t see the forest for the trees. However, through prayer and positivity, I am becoming more assertive in my faith and will to get better no matter what comes my way.

Here is a song by Lauren Daigle that has touched a lot of hearts, including mine.

Lydia!

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

6 Replies to “Chronic Compromises – Choices”

  1. After 15- years of chronic illness, and a lifetime really, I’ve learned to ride the wave a bit. Getting up in the morning, or afternoon, is an act of hope. And some days I just need to be angry, sad or bitter, just for a moment. And that is OK too. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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