Why Do We Torture Ourselves?

I have been avoiding Costco for a couple of weeks now. There have been several reasons for this – my food budget was non-existent, my leg was too sore to drive and I have been too tired to make the effort, to name a few.

Often my dear friend Kay will go with me. She doesn’t drive, but it is a short distance from our home and I feel more comfortable just having someone with me. She has been busy with her own stuff lately and I haven’t wanted to bother her (or she just hasn’t been available when I needed to go). I hate to bother Hubby because he has to get up early so we can go and get back before he has to leave for work in the afternoon.

I don’t do all my shopping at Costco; however, there are things that are just cheaper buying them in bulk. Because I make most of our food from scratch for our combined allergies/intolerances, buying things like chicken breasts or thighs, ground meat, cheese and veggies in bulk makes sense…as long as you deal with them right away and not let them go past the expiry date as I used to do. We were getting down to the bare necessities so a Costco trip was badly needed.

Hubby said he would take me today, and would top up my budget to get me back on track after some extra expenditures over the holidays and for our dog, Violet’s medicine. I very much appreciated both the ride and the financing.

On the physical side of things I suffer from

  • an old triple fracture in the lumbar region of my spine
  • osteoarthritis in both knees, hands, hips, feet, and my neck
  • fibromyalgia
  • asthma, environmental allergies
  • edema
  • migraines
  • other internal things that cause pain and fatigue

I walk with a cane outside of our home and have problems walking for distances or long periods of time. In addition to severe arthritis in my right knee, I had a full knee replacement in 2008. For some reason, the knee has started hurting and swelling like it did before the surgery. Both my doctor and I are not sure what is going on and I am waiting for a CT scan. In the meantime getting around is more difficult than usual.

Kay wants me to use one of the motorized carts they have at Costco and other big stores because she thinks it is fun. Even hubby joked about it today. I don’t know why I do not want to take one; however, I think I would rather walk Costco 6 times around pushing a heavy cart than try to maneuver one of those electric things around once! I know, is sounds silly, right?

So, is it my independence talking? Am I afraid of being a bad driver? Am I in denial still about my disabilities? Is my “excuse” about leaving it for someone who needs it more than me the real reason? Am I worried how I will look driving one of those things? All of the above?

After we came home from our one store mega-shop I put all the perishables away and made Hubby’s sandwiches for work. After that, I was totally exhausted and had to lay down for awhile. The kitchen still has to be tidied and the rest of the purchases put away.

Would taking that electric cart make shopping easier for me? Yes, I am sure it would. So why do I keep torturing myself by doing the shopping on foot? Even though I try very hard to humble myself before the Lord, I do believe that it is pride that gets in the way of a lot of things.

Maybe I should make it a goal to go to the store on a quieter (ya right) time and try out the cart with Kay or Hubby with me to help guide and to grab things.

Hmm, well, we shall see….


23 Replies to “Why Do We Torture Ourselves?”

  1. My sister in law always uses one of these as I walk around with her and sometimes help her with things that are too high for her to reach. People are very considerate of those driving them I think.

    I have a friend like you who won’t take one, though he certainly could use it after his stroke. I understand. I might feel the same way, but it might be worth a try!


    Liked by 3 people

  2. My sisters wanted me to use one but I to refused but only because I was afraid I would crash into things or people and cause someone else pain. I did allow them to grab a wheelchair for me at the airport in Toronto. I did not mind the ride. But after having been in a wheelchair before when I could not walk it us not something I want to have to use again. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s a lot of pain to be dealing with and I can understand your not liking to use the mobile shopping carts, but since it’s probably going to be easier on you and not every day, you might consider. I loved shopping at Costco too when I was still living in Houston.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Kat. The ones at the stores just look so big and bulky – I feel like I would be in everyone’s way. But with all the comments here I think I may try one next time.


      1. sweetie you will never know unless you try…and personally if I see one of those coming in my direction I give them the right away…they also have little horns…to beep beep people out of the way…kat

        Liked by 1 person

  4. We have a Wegman’s grocery store that has about a dozen of them available at any given time and,believe me they are used constantly. They aren’t even a thought anymore for either the user or those walking among them. They really have become second nature for all stores who have them and the people who frequent them. No stigma attached and clearly the way to go based on your description. I haven’t ridden in one myself but you can see the satisfaction provided to those who are riding them around. Go for it!

    Liked by 1 person

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