I have tried to start close to a dozen posts over the last week or so and they don’t get very far.
It isn’t that I have writer’s block as the ideas are readily there. It is more that my brain just can’t put them into any semblance of order. The reason is, and I really hate to admit this, I am in a deep and dark depression.
There are events that have added to this (the 24th and 5th anniversaries of my Mother and Father’s passing, respectively), but I believe the real source is that I have just been dealing with too much pain for way too long.
While I have had small bouts of depression, and even hypomania (a lesser form of mania), I thought I was immune to it. I thought I had my emotions under control and was stronger than any mood swing that could ever come my way. Well, I guess I am human after all.
I need to use what energy and strength I have to fight the pain and the depression. So, I am going to take whatever time I need to do this. I may write a post or reblog something that I feel is worthy; however, I won’t do it unless it totally feels right.
One of the main reasons that I pour my heart out in this blog is in the hopes that it will help someone else. And I can’t help anyone if I don’t first help myself.
I hope you all will be around when I come back.